Walking the dog at night

Me: Why did you stop walking? Let's go.

B: WOAH. Woah. We need to stop. There's something over there.

Me: There's nothing there. Come on.

B: No, I seriously have a really bad feeling. There's something over there that's bad news bears.

Me: There's seriously nothing near us except squirrels and rabbits and that cat.

B: YEAH THE CAT! That cat is seriously shifty. I don't wanna walk past it. Let's turn around.

Me: If we turn around, as soon as we get home you're going to get the zoomies and eat my socks.

B: ...

Me: Yeah.

B: ...

 ....no... I won't.

Me: Yeah, you will. Come on.

B: Fuck no man. That thing is gonna jump us. Look how still and starey and weird it's being. I hate it I hate it.

Me: If it jumps us I'll punt it like a football.

B: What's a football?

Me: ... Come on.

B: AAAAAAAAAH oh we're past it hey look a squirrel! Hey a smell and another smell ooh something weird on the ground I bet I can eat it something interesting definitely happened here and over here and there's something up this tree.